So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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