I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
