I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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