Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
