Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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