Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
