after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
