i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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