I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize