so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
