Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
