i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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