never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
third nipple confirmed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
