I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
