spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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