Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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