I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
