toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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