The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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