watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
