Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think i peed on brittanys purse
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
