my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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