I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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