i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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