If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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