She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
