my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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