At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
