I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pants are for mortals
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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