'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
