she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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