Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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