Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
