Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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