it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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