He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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