Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Randomize
