I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
