I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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