I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
