You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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