So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
