Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
