We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
