decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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