I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
