honey bunches of taint.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize