Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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