the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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