The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He passed out mid-signature
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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