I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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