he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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