What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize