Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize